Menucard Of Dreams

@copyright: Bhupesh Chandra (chandra.bhupesh@gmail.com)

Here I go, into the "Restaurant of Sleep", in the "Kingdom of Rest". I looked around with my droopy eyes and ordered the "Menucard Of Dreams".

Out they came, the watch guards of sleep,the boys I mean, and softly questioned, "You looking for something special?". I looked at them, too many of them, and answered, "Oh yes, indeed! Something special, as special as the first rain. Do you guys prepare the "Future"? The boys turned gay, smiles all around, spoke to me, "Oh sure, absolutely. No problemo Sir! We serve the "Future", you taste it the best when you are here at the "Restaurant of Sleep", in the "Kingdom of Rest".

"And so be it", I ordered my "Future". I was excited ,didn't bother to ask the wait time for my "Future".

I was hungry as it was too late for dinner, I suppose. But still too many around, many many around. What must have they ordered? Future? I started rolling my eyes, to every corner of the place. Lots!!. The rich and the poor, men and women, , both coupled and singles, blacks and whites. GOSH!!! they are all here. What's the day today? Nothing I would wish to celebrate of. I answered myself.

To my right was a table. As long as it could be. Perpendicular to the table was a queue. As long as it could be. It was a buffet, they were serving the "Past". The people looked desperate to taste it. But the one's who tasted did not look happy. Tears all around that corner, they ate every bit, cried all around and went back into the queue. I guess, the "Past" was bitter. I shook my brows, called the boys, the watch guards of Sleep, "Why do you server the Past? Don't you see they are crying there. They are in pain." Mused by my inquisitiveness, they said, "We serve it as it sells the best. They like it that way, you know." "OOOOOhhh......"I expressed myself. And the boys left.

I spied again, all over the place. To my left, was a table, again. The table was small. Perpendicular to the table was queue. The queue was small. The folklore was gay and merry. They brought parents and children. They look relaxed.I was curious. It was buffet - they were serving the "Present". Wow!! I raised my brows and came again, the boys, the watch guards of Sleep. "Did you see there, how happy those folks are. Why don't you prepare it more. More the Present, more the happiness." The boys, so smart, mused again, with a smile on face, answered "We sell as per demand. We don't charity, you see. It just that many don't know the taste of the "Present". "OOOOOhhhh...." ! I returned the favor and then the boys left.

So much food, so many emotions, I grew hungry. What is the time? I asked myself as I glanced at my watch "its almost dawn." I grew furious, and angry and shouted to call the boys, the watch guards of Sleep. "Where is my Future. You see, I ordered it long back. I am hungry." The boys look worried this time, a grin on the face, sadly they announced:

We do not know how to prepare your Future. We only prepare the Present and the Past. When we took your order, we gave you time, a time to make a choice, to see the people around, the food around. But we still see you waiting. Definitely you are hungry. So why don't you choose one - Present or the Past, because we don't have the Future, nobody has it. Sir.

The Road, The Walk and The Life

It has been a long time since I have started walking to my office. Initially, I used to take auto everyday, but now I just want to walk. It's a little more than 2.5 kms from my house.
Everyday I start from my gate, filled with confidence and silence, the music of life set to the winning rhythm again, stepping into those porshe BTM main road and lanes, looking around people who stand in the cross roads of BTM searching for an auto. Most of them are girls, so no doubt I take that path.
And I walk further. It is all straight from my home, no turns no curves. I encounter the same signal everyday, the crossing where I spend 2 mins of my time everyday before I find myself on the other side. Those two mins shake my heart with all the fears of being crushed down by a truck or being hit to pieces by a speeding bus, I frightenly look around to find young men/women all hurrying up for their day's work. I pray silently "God, give them the wisdom to safely cross this road. Forgive them for all their mistakes/sins for no one deserves to die on the road". And then I cross the road. I start walking along side a lifeless park. The park is full of stones, no grass, nothing. And besides the park, lies the barren, which has all the life. Little boys playing cricket, men basking in the sun talking the daily issues.."AAh...what's wrong here?". Obvioulsy, I have not been able to gather the answer.
I walk futher, straight and faster. I approach what is called "Tavrekere Main Road." Well, it is certainly not a road, but yes it deserves the adjective "Main"; but still I would prefer calling it a "road". I have never experienced such a narrow lane in my life before coming to Bangalore. Half of the road encroached by illegal parkings and shops, all kinds of shops. Inspite of it being narrow and crowded, ond can find trucks, double decker busses, huge cranes and mighty road rollers. Not one of them cares for the road and it's life. I realized over these days, it is much more difficult to walk than to drive on this road. Driving through this road, is such a waste of time. But for me there is not shorter option.
I almost remember everything now present on this road. I still have a km to walk. I can now notice little boys and girls playing on the roadside, all those games that I have played at their age. I had a public park for my games, but for these children, I guess, the Tavrekere main is their park. Behind the shops, I an see houses. As I walk, I can see more of the dirt and filth that this road encompasses all through it. The houses, some of them beautifully designed and some really shaggy and ragged ones. "Ok, so Tavereker Main houses the rich too, not just the poor..But what kind of wiseness is it to build a beautiful bunglow on a dirty road side. Isn't it like building an IIT in Kanpur??". A mind that started with confidence and silence, with just one thought of reaching the office, was now generating hundreds of them. The music of life started fathoming into the deeper notes, the sadder ones. And then I find a poultry shop, just on the road side, and then another poultry shop , then another.. "Omg, this is a row of poultry shops. It smells and feels death." And then you find roadside hotels besides those poultry shops where people were breaking their fast. They were almost eating on the road, standing and eating with thalis in hand. My mind went silent. I did not want to breathe at all. My legs worked faster. I placed my white handkerchief on my nose. But those children, they were still playing there, around those poultry shops. "Is there no one around, to ask them not to play here. What if they carry all those flues...". And those little "Taare Zameen par", they kept on watching me passing by. I could see their faces, all of them staring at me as if asking me to make a promise, a promise for a better playground than Tavrekere Main, a little more respect and care, something that every human being, especially these "Taare Zameen par" deserve. "Aren't you looking at the wrong face kiddo...".
Finally I cross that stretch and I feel life again. I want to breathe more and more. I have no place to walk on the road, for it's full of autos, trucks, busses, animals, all of them stacked in a jam, the jam of life, created by them and observed by them. I can only look for corners and edges, space small enough to land my feet. Surprisingly, I always get this space. This has been so miraculous and mysterious about Tavrekere main. No matter how much you push in, it can absorb it all.
Everyday when I walk all the way on this road, I am sure I risk my life for there have been ample instances where I closely escaped accidents.. But then this is true for every individual who is walking on this road, for every life blossoming besides the Tavrekere Main Road.
Passing all these hurdles/challenges that tavrekere main poses on me and my mind, I enter my office gate. My office has an upward slope from the zeroth floor to the first floor and at the end of this slope, there is an elevated platform. Almost, every employee takes the lift from the zeroth floor itself, but I always walk that slope. Slowly and confidently I walk up, with the feeling of having won yet another war, I reach the elevated platform. The music of life once again surges up to a winning rythm. I can see the tavrekere main from the platform . I puff my heart with guts, and looked down upon the tavrekere main for one last time before I start my day. I feel confident again to overcome all my problems and challenges that this day has in store for me. With a smile, I look back and enter Oracle.

Off The Track

Many a times I feel how fraud I am. I have been just putting half hearted efforts towards my dealings in day to day life. One of my very good friends, wrote me a testimonial when I was leaving IIT. He wrote that the best thing that I possess is the rock hard attitude. He justified that it suited my kind of personality. I kind of always knew that latently. Lately, today , when I am here at my office at Bangalore, I feel, .. was my friend right ?

"Do you know bhupc, you have lots of attitude". I remember that during my HR training sessions, I irked one of the HR managers when I made a comment and she said, "Do you know Bhupesh, Kanpuriya itne tez nahin hote.". "What?? is she doubting intelligence of IIT Kanpur, I mean does she even know what she means?". I started to think fast. I had to fire back. "Oh really, I am not from Kanpur.", I retorted. Next came her question, "Then where do u belong to ?". "Bhilai.". I replied. And then again she repeated, "Wahan ke log bhi itne tez nahin hote." Roaring laughter spread through the room. I did not understand if they were all laughing on me, or on her. Anyways I got my lesson; do not mess with the HR. From that point onwards I lost my confidence for the day.


It was a nice afternoon and the last session of the HR training. We were being taught how to write mails to our bosses and colleagues. As usual, I was overconfident, and was sitting with my ears closed. "Common on, I have been doing it for the past four years at IIT. My profs weren't less formal than any of your Oracle Managers or Directors...What are these kids going to teach me." Everyone was asking questions and I was sitting (almost spread out on the chair.). Up came the glare (back)at to me. Her again. "So Bhupesh, you seem to be quite relaxed and comfortable about this topic. No doubts, nothing to ask." In the past one week of training, I had got the reputation of a query engine at Oracle, the one who asks all sorts of queries, and doubts. How could have I let them down this time. and so I asked a clever enough question. "Can we use emoticons in our mails to out managers?" At first, she didn't seem to understand what I meant. Probably the word "emoticon" was alien to her. Happens with HR; but this doesn't stop them from being the smartest people in the world, at least they think so. But by the time, the whole class had got what I meant and seem to be admiring, "wow what a question, he did it again, a nice question again...". So I made the HR manager explain saying, "can I use :P, :D etc.. in my mails". She got it.


Now the next move out of that cunning HR mind. If I have asked the question, I must be having some opinion. "So Bhupesh, what do you think about it? What precautions would have you taken while writing a mail to your boss?". Aaah nice move lady. Oh that was simple for me, after all I am from IIT, and had been writing gentle mails to gentlemen at my institute. And there I started complacently "Well, the first thing that I would do is not to use briefs and..aaa..aa.." oops what did i say, I meant to say abbreviations and short forms aka acronyms. OMG, blunder that was. She was fast to catch it "Please don't say you would not use briefs, just the lighter side of it." "F*** , how can I make such a mistake..I was so (over)confident. Shit!!" And the whole class bursted in laughter.


After the long tiring session, I came out of the office, totally disappointed, with a gloomy face. Everyone knew why that was. I was screwed by the HR twice in a row. It was not over; it is going to linger in my memory for next few weeks,for sure. "What do they think of themselves..they are not perfect. I will show them that I am smart enough to pull asses out of them.(After all I am an IITian)..". And I knew..I was making the same mistake again. The mistake I have been making for the past four years, wait...may be for the past 20 years, just took too much of fuel in the past 4 years. "When did this happen? When did I get so much of attitude? Main aise kyon hoon? ..Infact..Main aisa hi hoon..What did my friend thought when he meant I have an attitude which suits my personality... but then, am I wrong when I think I am very smart. Am I not? Am I not one of the most intelligent youth in this country..Don't I belong to the best techonology school in the country..Have I lost the right to be called smartest and the brightest..Is it taking over my life..uff.. my head is paining...I cannot handle this gush of thoughts ..I need to sleep..." And all my dreams I had been dreaming my four wonderful years that are either going to make me or destroy me..It's upto me which way to choose.

Hip Hop Bangalore Malls

After working all so hard in the office for the whole week, the very next thing in your life is the glamorous weekend in the hip hop, most happening Bangalore clubs, pubs and Malls. Someone like me, who graduated out just a month or two back, and that too from a remote piece of terrain on this country would definitely notice the change that has been brought about by Liberalisation and Consumerism through out the country. Well I do not outstandingly revolt against these two phenomenons, but certainly I am not a supporter of either. It's just that I am keen enough to observe things happening around me.

Now, the very next question, what am I going to do. Well, I am here just to enjoy my weekend. So the very first mall that I visited was the Forum in Kormangala. The moment I entered I knew I hated the place. It was damn crowded. I hate crowd, but never ever did a place or a crowd repelled me to this magnitude. I just was not able to think anything except when to leave this place. I started with so called window shopping at the branded showrooms. Levis, Reebok, Nike, Van Heusen, Tom Hilfiger, Addidas.. man the goods are just too expensive. I just happened to like a jacket at Tom Hilfiger and that had a label of Rs 8000 . What am I paying 8000 for!!! At last there was no reason for me to buy that piece of cloth for 8000 just because it had the name of Tom Hilfiger on it. Leave it..lets go to another shop. I had a budget of Rs 800 and was not going to buy a jacket for more than that but in case I had to raise it, Rs 1000 that's it. Too much for a jacket. So what next....and next...and next.. I did the same for every shop. Two hours...just researching on branded jackets..infact their prices...forget quality...the name had all of it. But no one seemed to have a jacket starting below 2000. And finally i did not take a jacket. I decided to quit the plan.
Every where in that place I could see youngsters of my age and coupled!! That is important and remarkable about Bangalore. Every one who has been here for about 4 months has been able to find a so called great match for their life. They want to shop , to move around, hug them and even kiss them, out there in the public place.
"Yukk...how have these people managed to do this, when did my country cut down it's traditionlism and conservationist policies. So is this what the genNext is? Is this was what the watch guards of society warned us about a decade ago when India welcomed liberalization...". All these facts and thoughts crossed my mind at that particular point. I need to sit down. I was not able to take this gush of thougths straight through me. "I need to eat something". I had to find a restaurant. So here it is "Transit". Not a restaurant, but a food court. I had been to a food court earlier at Virginia Tech . That was Schulz hall, if I could remember properly. But then this was India at a Bangalore Mall. Too many cuisines, far too many dishes. In a minute, I got that this place was not for an unprepared guy like me who didn't even knew what means what. But I restored my self to a dosa. A long queue, but finally ordered one. Costly again. Now I had to find a place to sit. It was weekend and almost every one from Bangalore seemed to be pouring in at Forum. Fortunately, found a place to sit. Looking all around , just one thing, the fairer sex with their dates. "Man , am I the only the one uncoupled. Shame on you bhupc . Does it really matter?", I thought the very next moment. "Lets see. So let me eat my dosa. So hmmm...all these people around are wearing branded clothes....hmmm...nice they look dudes and dudess".None had a non branded piece of clothing on their body, except me.

I continued to discover the answer.
"Can't I buy that expensive jacket. I have enough money for that. Everyone is doing it. I don't think that everyone has that enough money..all of them were salaried people, but yes they were all single, like me. But then what about our own industries, the Swadeshi and all that....uff.... it's paining ...my head,.... my heart wants the jacket, my brain thinks too much about my country and my financial status....what about me, about what I want.....This place is making me think it's own way..It wants me to consume what it has for me, at the cost it wants me to pay....Ok I am done. I want that jacket. I will take it. Lets go.. now... "

The next was I went to the showroom, bought an expensive smart looking jacket. And it was brash. I just bought it like it meant nothing to me to spend that much. People just looked at me..probably thinking that they also could have taken that jacket home if they had that big budget for a jacket.
I came out of the mall. Finally I got my peace of mind and the solace I needed. But not yet satisfied. One question still wandering....."is there someone regulating them , is someone watching them .....?" and I thought .."We..yes we all are the ones..the cause and the victims...may be...I need to observe more..a bit more keen...."

Office@B'lore

My first day at Oracle, Lexington Towers, office was easy, infact the first whole month. Never knew that I never knew anything. And then now after a month, they have started assigning me bugs to resolve. Hmm....my first reaction was to check that when the bug was filed and who was the filer, quite obvious. The bug was filed by someone in 2004 and now has left the company, at least does not have his/her name in the company database. Fine, lets not bother about that, lets move ahead and understand the bug. I never knew what I am going to see is a whole lot of 1000 words with 70% being just abbreviations, acronyms. How the hell was I going to understand Oracle's internal jargon? Hmm..but I never loose.after this is what was IIT Kanpur was all about. One can complete his/her B.Tech (in any damn topic) with just a internet connection, an internet browser, and with Google servers up!!! And this is what I was going to do. Google. I could just get half of the jargons on the web, but half of them were still out there. And so started my world of discovering them. Up on my floor(I am on 6th floor) were my other team mates. I must say most of them were really helpful. Finally, with much of the hassles, I was able to understand from them what the bug was all about. One thing more I came to know was that I had nothing to do to solve the bug. :( . All I had to do was to write a mail to the concerned team stating what they must do so that the bug is all gone. Wow!! that was so simple, you work so hard to understand the bug just to come to know that the bug is not yours.

Well that was all of the first bug with no hands on required on the box.


One fine day, I entered Oracle all so enthusiastic and charged up, as I always am. Had the same prototypic south Indian breakfast of Idli and sambhar(with some chutney of course). Right there bhupc was on his desk at 9:30. Wow!! How come I manage my time so good? This was the first applaud I gave to myself on the day. No one , and take my word, only me, never knew what was going to happen on the day next. I was asked to create a view. A view, and what the hell was that. Never mind, Oracle is all about learning and I have done this before, going about and disturbing people to ask them the most trivial of the questions of which they are masters now( I hope so :)) . Back I was at my desk. Had all the information and the commands to install a view. Bang on. I was ready to solve the bug. But wait..These are all linux commands and the machine I have is a Windows machine. Where the hell am I supposed to run these commands? Oh God!!! I am missing something. I was wasting my time. Do hell with my time management. So got to go again and learn where to get a linux box. And then Icame toknow I need to apply for a hosted linux box, another jargon, which means I need to get a physical machine allocated to me in Austin data centre of Oracle. Oh that sounds exciting, I will be soon having two machines. So what am I going to do the whole day. Just littering about. And I did the same for next two days after which I could get my linux box and NIS account. Ah thank God!! It was done...But installing the view was next being challenge....
Moral of the story : The great time managers in the external world just become the greatest when they join Oracle !!!